bitcorn:

just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet he cant even name three noble truths of buddhism

canadumb:

thinsiqnificant:

canadumb:

*ducts tapes my laptop together*

*duct tapes my life together*

isnt that what i said

• *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
• Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
• Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
• Man: I never filled out an application.
• Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
• Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
• Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
• Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
• Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
• Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
• Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
• Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
• Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
• Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
• Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
• Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
• Employee:
• Man:
• Employee:
• Man: Fuck you, slut.

wwworldwide:

*drops out of school like its hot*

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

bigstupidbaby:

personally i feel like romeo and juliet could have handled the situation better